Cold Comfort
by HeyArnoldFanatic
Summary: Years without love, without care and warmth made her bitter, causing her to seek the one thing she had the ability to feel.  She was never abused, but a life of neglect was a fate far worse.  Helga/Arnold  Please R&R! Rated T, for dark subject matter.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold, any of its characters, and anything belonging to Kate Chopin**

The water tugged at her toes with the coming and going of the tide. It called to her, with its soft yet cold caress, beckoning her to step further into its dark depths. She knew why she was here, at the lake. Hell, she was probably the only one crazy enough to be out at two in the morning New Year's Day. _Crazy… no not crazy_ she thought to herself _sad, depressed, alone, but not crazy_. She glanced behind her, her discarded coat, pants and shoes barely in sight. She was not going to need them. Cautiously she took another step forward, allowing the water to grace her ankles.

She shivered at the reintroduced feeling of cold, her feet having become numb to its touch. It was the only sensation she could still recognize. Years without love, without care and warmth made her bitter, causing her to seek the one thing she had the ability to feel. She was never abused, but a life of neglect was a fate far worse. Helga would yell, curse, and even destroy in an attempt to receive any sort of attention from her "parents". It had gotten to the point where a slap across the face would be welcome, even yearned for. The slap never came, nor did any sort of punishment. The closest Helga could ever get to acknowledgment was Bob telling her to make him a sandwich or Miriam mumbling incoherently.

So Helga found herself at the lake contemplating an end. _Or is it an Awakening?_ She laughed dryly at the relevance, looking up at the sky. Flakes of white had begun to fall, finding refuge in her long blond hair or amongst the sand around her. Those unlucky enough to hit the water disappeared on contact, lost among the current of former snowfall, equally as forgotten. Helga's body erupted in goose bumps as the flurries kissed her skin, leaving spots of moisture where they melted. She relished the affection the cold provided her. The tugging of the water became an embrace, a frigid yet welcoming one. It goaded her, whispering quiet words of admiration. She took another step.

The waves eagerly consumed her legs, finding happiness in finally reaching her knees. Helga frowned at the water, and how easy it was to please. Why couldn't her parent's be like the lake? Why couldn't they see how hard she had tried to please them? The wind, as if in answer, blew gently against her back. It felt her pain and it knew her sorrows. Tears began to form in her eyes, as the wind continued to wrap its concerned arms about her. She looked behind in the direction of the breeze and saw a waving piece of fabric in her pile of clothing. It shifted side to side in time with the movement of the air. It struggled, trying to release itself from the burden of the other clothes. Helga let her eyes stay a moment longer before returning her gaze to the body of water. Tears fell freely from her face as she picked up her foot, only to place it back down. She had taken so many steps to get to where she was, yet she couldn't manage one more.

Clenching her fists tight she screamed, letting all her agony out into the air. She hit the water with her hands, splashing about in anger, cursing her parents with every breathe she could muster. She continued to yell, tears streaming down her cheeks, tracing their way down her body into the lake. Forcing a few more steps, she felt the water line pass her hips and stop at her stomach. With a renewed sense of determination she went to drive her foot forward, or at least she had meant to, before a gentle and smooth sensation on her shoulder and chest caused her to stop. She cast her eyes down and saw a faint pink ribbon wrapped loosely around her form.

It was torn in a few places and frayed at the edges, but it had remained as smooth as the day her beloved commented on its beauty. Pulling her hands from the freezing water, she wrapped her fingers around the silk. She brought the fabric to her face and brushed it along her cheek and neck, its softness eliciting a small sense of nostalgia from deep within her. Helga closed her eyes as thoughts of Arnold passed through her head, his caring and loving nature pulling at her heart. He was her one source of light in a life full of darkness and despair, the one thing that had kept her going for so many years; the one thing that kept her from falling over the edge.

He was her love, her hope, her everything. Yet she couldn't expect any of that in return. She had learned the hard way that hope and love were false fantasies, luxuries that only others could seem to afford. Bringing the ribbon to her lips, Helga let a soft sob escape from her mouth. Her body shook as she slowly extended her arm and held the fabric between her forefinger and thumb. She knew she had to let go, but as her eyes remained transfixed on her most treasured secret, it became harder and harder to follow through.

_**Helga…**_

She closed her eyes once more, as new tears threatened to fall. She was going to miss the way he said her name.

_**Helga..**_

Her heart sank as she realized that she would never be able to tell Arnold how sorry she was for all the pain she caused him.

_**Helga.**_

She felt one last tear fall from her face.

_And he will never be mine_

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**Hey everybody! **

**Hope you liked it, and don't worry, it gets happier.**

**I've been on FanFiction for a couple years now, and I finally got the guts to put something up! YAY!**

**Please REVIEW. For Helga's sake  
**


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